BRIAN WELLS was born in a sepia tone photo of a log cabin located either in Kentucky or a Ken Burns documentary. Brian spent most of his youth splitting wood and shooting poor squirrels. It has been claimed that he killed a bear at the age of three. In fact, it was the bear that was three. Brian was one. He was drafted into the Union army at the age of fifteen. Starting out as a cavalry trooper, he soon reached the rank of General Custer's personal beard maintenance technician.
DANIEL BOUWERAERTS, AKA the Big Boss Man, was a strong and exceptionally handsome child, which continued on into his career. He excelled in sports, including football, soccer and crochet. His looks, too, seemed to mature from overtly cute to pleasing, and could be called almost handsome if seen in the moon light. After Mr. Boss Man’s moral victory against the WWF (resulting in the name legally changed to WWE), he continues to dominate the world through blinding fear.
MICHAEL GANSCHOW-GREEN is currently being channeled by J.Z. Knight, an American spiritual medium. Mr. Homie G-G was an Atlantian warrior who raised an army of the dead and fought against the tyrants of the times, the cult of Zeus, over 35,000 years ago. He led an army of over 2.575 million sexy raised corpses across the continents, conquering 2/3 of the known world. He led the army for ten years until he realized that dead people can not inhabit the earth due to their inability to live.
RON MARSTON was born Valdimir P. Lybnitski in Northern Czechoslovakia, like all Irish people, in April 1967. His father was born in 1964 and was once elected for a short but memorable time, as overweight British Prime minister Neville Chamberlain. Mr. Lybnitski-Marston made millions of pounds, and the first thing he bought was a set of crayons, for he loved their musky smell, then he bought a bottle of whiskey, which was actually gin, however he was too drunk to notice.